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  1. Being Around You Greeting Card

    Being Around You Greeting Card

    $2.99

    Being around you makes me want to briefly stop compulsively checking all forms of digital communication. Learn More
  2. True Love Somewhere Greeting Cards (Pk of 10)

    True Love Somewhere Greeting Cards (Pk of 10)

    $19.49

    My true love is out there somewhere and they can go fuck themselves Learn More
  3. You Turn Me On Greeting Card

    You Turn Me On Greeting Card

    $2.99

    You turn me on more than my antidepressants turn me off. Learn More
  4. Grow Old Greeting Card

    Grow Old Greeting Card

    $2.99

    I want to grow old and disgusting with you. Learn More
  5. Savagely Assault Couples Greeting Card

    Savagely Assault Couples Greeting Card

    $2.99

    Try not to savagely assault happy couples this Valentine's Day. Learn More
  6. Terrible Life Greeting Card

    Terrible Life Greeting Card

    $2.99

    Glad you recognize how terrible your life would be without me. Learn More
  7. Emergency Contact Greeting Card

    Emergency Contact Greeting Card

    $2.99

    Someday I'd like you to be my emergency contact person. Learn More
  8. Cupid's Arrow Greeting Card

    Cupid's Arrow Greeting Card

    $2.99

    You make me feel like a pudgy, naked, winged child has shot an arrow into my chest cavity Learn More
  9. Just Be Friends Greeting Card

    Just Be Friends Greeting Card

    $2.99

    Thanks for never suggesting we just be friends. Learn More
  10. Must Be Love Greeting Card

    Must Be Love Greeting Card

    $2.99

    This must be love because I haven't even contemplated an eventual escape plan. Learn More

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